To Reclaim or Not To Reclaim, This Is My Question
I have been following another blog on WordPress called Attacking the Filthy Fifties, by Mark Chateauneuf . It is a blog written by a man in his 50s who writes about his journey towards trying to “correct” his past years of poor eating choices and lack of exercise by becoming healthy. I completely relate to much of what he writes about because I am also in my 50s, and I’m also trying to fix a lifetime of bad choices where my health has been concerned.
The blog post that has inspired this writing is one that he wrote in September 2019 entitled “I Prefer The Term Fat, Thank You.” In that post, he discussed why he chooses to use the word fat to describe his current state of being (rather than softer terms that do not hold the negativity that the word fat does). The message he is conveying is that by using fat to describe himself, he is acknowledging that he is fat and needs to do something about it immediately or risk losing his life. But, while he chooses to use this word to convey the emergency around his health, I am not sure he is entirely “reclaiming” the word like so many people across other groups reclaim hurtful words (such as gay people reclaiming the word queer). I do not think this is what Mr. Chateauneuf is aiming to do. It becomes rather clear in this post and subsequent comment that he wants to use the word as a powerful motivator for change. Thus, this is the subject of this post: why some people choose to reclaim hurtful words and why some people choose not to reclaim those hurtful words.
I am not entirely sure when reclaiming words actually began to be a thing, but it does seem as if this has only been a relatively recent trend (by recent, I am largely suggesting the 1990s as a starting point). I previously mentioned the word queer as a word that has been reclaimed by the gay community. I only became aware of this in the 1990s, so this is why I have proposed this as my timeline, though I recognize this could have started much earlier. The gay community has also reclaimed such words as fag(got), dyke, fairy, lesbo, queen, flamer, and so many more. So, admittedly some of these are still hard for older people to latch onto than younger people, but I think the gay community seems to be better at taking on linguistic reclamation than perhaps other groups.
The Black, or African American, community also began reclaiming at least one word that I am aware of which has long been used to devalue people who have black or dark skin: the “N-word” — which I make a conscious choice not to use. Though the word may not have actually started out as being pejorative, it eventually did take on a clear racist meaning. This one is a very tricky one, however, and may even be controversial in the black community because the older generation recalls very clearly the intent behind this word, and because this word is still used to demean black people in a vicious way. We might call this one an ongoing effort at linguistic re-appropriation.
Feminists have also taken on words and phrases used to insult them previously and begun to make them their own. Though there is an extensive list of such words, I still cringe at them: slut, spinster, bitch, etc. I think some of the words I can get more on board with however are girly (as in girly-girl), pussy (as in pussy power). But one that completely surprised me while I was writing this was the word suffragette, which also started out as a slur towards strong women, but seems to have completely lost the power of the insult-factor.
So, why do groups of people who have been ruthlessly insulted feel the need to take those same insulting words and use them to describe themselves? On the surface this seems counterintuitive, but in fact the word is not actually used in exactly the same way. The chosen word may even retain some or all of its original characteristics to describe that person, or group of people, but the attitude behind this word changes dramatically because the former victim of this word may now exaggerate the behaviors associated with it (such as flamer), or even use it as a badge of honor (such as bitch when used to mean a strong woman). The weapon mutates into a shield, and over time it loses its power and even its former meaning (as in suffragette).
Coming back to our original word fat, I have asked myself why it is that we have not taken on this word with as much vigor? I understand Mr. Chateauneuf’s objective: to use that word as an accurate descriptor, but one that is still undesirable, and thus a motivator for change. “If I do not want to be fat, then I must take action to stop being fat.” In wearing the word fat as a badge of honor, it will do nothing to drive a goal towards being less fat and more healthy. There would be no motivation for change if one accepts the word as a proud symbol of their beingness.
The comments that follow explore the notion of taking a more neutral look at the word fat as a descriptor of fact, without attaching all the negativity to it. There are a few questions that come out of this discussion:
- If we make the word more neutral and less hurtful, is this a healthier approach mentally?
- Will it have the same impact as a motivation to change?
- If the word becomes a statement of fact, rather than denial or ridicule, can we then be more supportive and honest about what fatness means for our loved ones?
In the comments Mr. Chateauneuf also says he is “dumb” but that he is also working on that. The word dumb (to describe one’s lack of intelligence) is an even more curious aspect of this choice of reclaiming words. Though the original meaning of this word simply meant the inability to speak, that meaning has almost been lost to time and instead has evolved to mean stupid. I cannot imagine a time or occasion in which anyone would even want to reclaim words such as dumb or stupid, yet it seems to be a popular choice in including a stupid character in television shows and movies and usually with the intent to ridicule.
My next question: what makes the difference between our choice to linguistically reappropriate a word or not? I took a look at the characteristics of such states of being in these words and realized something important.
When gay people make a slur their own, they are in recognition that their fundamental identity cannot be changed. That is, there is a deep belief amongst most gay people that they were born this way, and even though they can “act straight” and do all the things straight people do (get married, have kids, etc.), they cannot change who they really are inside. In not having the ability to change, and still be happy and true to their nature, they MUST take the words used against them and strip them of the power to hurt. A black person does not have this same kind of ability (in most cases) to be a pretender by hiding who he/she is because skin color is on the outside of the body and simply cannot be removed or changed. In this same way, black people must also take these hurtful words and turn them around so they lose the power to hurt. A feminist may just be tired of conforming to an arbitrary set of rules around gender on her from society and instead choose to fight against sexism and inequality if she ever hopes to live in a way she desires and even to achieve her own dreams. If she does not believe she is weak, or she does not want to be bound by a restricted set of choices in her life, then she too must fight against these word choices meant to “keep her in her place.” These are all examples of the inability to change, or a refusal to change, and I believe it is this that drives us to turn hateful words into empowering words.
But, this is a little bit different for a person who is fat. Most of us have the ability to change our weight (some easily, some through extreme measures), so we do not generally choose to wear this word as a badge of pride. Most of us hate being fat, and knowing we can change that, we work tirelessly to achieve weight loss. We all have different reasons for wanting to change our weight: to stop the harassment, shame, or guilt around being fat (an internalized hatred of what we look like), to achieve a body type that is more appealing to us (vanity), or even just to be healthy or healthier. So, claiming the word fat is largely inconsistent with our goals and ability to change, and I believe it is for this reason that we shun the word just as much as we want to shed the weight.
I recognize that some fat, or obese, people are afflicted with medical conditions that will never allow them to lose weight regardless of how hard they work at that, and other people have embraced their fatness and have no desire to change themselves, but instead to change society’s perceptions around weight. For these folks, reclaiming the word fat to describe themselves might be more of a reason to do so. I have taken on this word to describe myself in a more honest way. I’m not sure I do it to motivate myself to change so much as doing it to accept myself as I am without condemning myself.
The choice to accept and challenge words or not is purely individual, and based on many factors, so my assessment of linguistic reclamation is only a generalization based on my own observations and experiences of the world. I have asked some important questions here and presented a personal perspective, and in this I would very much like to hear any other thoughts on this subject.
- Have you reclaimed any words?
- Why did you make that choice?
- Do you feel like it has given you a voice you might not have had before?
- Do you feel that is an important step in becoming happier? Stronger?
- What do you think about this topic?
